Yes, Virginia, There Really is a U.S. Department of State
At a friend's party the other day, a woman I'd never met came up to me and started a conversation. "So, what did you do before becoming a writer?" she asked. I said I'd worked for the U.S. State Department as a Foreign Service officer for twenty-three years. The woman giggled, rolled her eyes and retorted, "Oh! We all know what that means. You were a spy." My stone-faced demeanor reflected my displeasure with this woman's insensitive and moronic statement.
Like most of my colleagues, I've experienced this type of encounter countless times both during my Foreign Service career and after. I used to disabuse the irresponsible lamebrains who made the allegation, which they usually did in a loud voice so all within shouting distance could hear. Over time, however, I decided to go on counterattack. Not long after making friends in the small rural village where we now live, another transplant -- a former Hollywood screenwriter -- at social get-togethers repeatedly cracked, "We all know where you really worked. Ha. Ha." And another fellow, a journalist, would snicker, "Yep. CIA. We all know. Tee hee." After this occurred two or three times, I launched my counterattack: "'Hollywood screenwriter' and 'journalist,' eh? Don't try to hide it. Everybody knows you worked in the pornography business." Then I'd repeat the charge in a louder non-jocular tone so the whole room could hear. This proved to be the right antidote. Later, the three of us cleared the air. I'd stop publicly smearing them as pornographers if they ceased their lame insinuations about me having been a spook. I also counseled them as to the dangers of pinning such a label on USG employees, active duty or retired. Being slapped with the label of intelligence officer could lead to physical threats against the recipient, especially when traveling abroad. My friends have been circumspect ever since.
But this leads to a broader perception problem. Most Americans don't seem to be aware that their country has its very own foreign ministry, and that we call it the Department of State. They may be aware of Secretary Hillary Clinton and a handful of her predecessors from watching the news, but beyond that haven't a clue as to what State does. My late mother would shake her head in incomprehension whenever I tried to explain my profession as a diplomat. And this cluelessness was shared by many other family members and friends who lived outside the D.C. beltway. I would be reduced to saying "I deal with foreign countries" and leave it at that. Of course, the rejoinder often was, "So, you're a spy then."
Much of the blame for this mass ignorance can be laid on Hollywood. The Bourne series, James Bond, Mission Impossible, Homeland and countless other movies and TV series about spies and espionage have long captured the public's imagination, as have military dramas. This goes as well for the thriller novels upon which many of these movies are based. How many movies have been made involving diplomats as action figures? If a movie or book thriller has any diplomats at all in its plot, they're more often than not portrayed as sniveling, effete cowards out to foil brave spies or soldiers with their backroom machinations. Even the recent hit movie, Argo, essentially depicted American diplomatic hostages in Iran as passively awaiting rescue by the bold, brave CIA exfiltration officer.
This lack of awareness and respect for our diplomatic service has incurred serious harm. Sen. Joseph McCarthy led a crusade to destroy the Foreign Service based on scurrilous lies. He was partly successful, having singlehandedly wrecked the careers of the post-WWII China Hands. Years later, Sen. Jesse Helms picked up the mantle of ill-will by slashing our foreign affairs budget, UN contributions and rejecting or delaying the appointments of many Foreign Service officers to higher positions. Americans allowed these demagogues to get away with their vindictive attacks against the State Department, in part, because of their own ignorance. If Schwarzenegger or Cruise or Damon had played hero-diplomat roles, perhaps attacks from the political right might have been blunted. Alas, those who wage war or steal official secrets make for more interesting fiction than do peacemakers.
So, diplomats, go on the counterattack. Next time that human resources factotum from Widgets, Inc. sniggers that you're a spy, fire back in a loud voice that he's the first human trafficker you've ever met. Or when your local pharmacist sneers about your real vocation as an intel spook, fire back that his being a drug dealer must get him in trouble with the law a lot. Use your imagination. Put yourself in the shoes of another action figure, Dirty Harry, and say, Make my day!