Will Paul Manafort's Colorist Visit Him in Jail?
The graying at the temples varies day by day. No colorists in prison.
I'm fascinated by Paul Manafort's hair. I mean the guy's crowding 70, but his hair looks like it's 35. But I've got it figured out. With all those millions he bilked out of banks and Russian gangsters, he set aside a princely sum to hire one of the nation's top hair colorists. It's obvious. As a slight concession to time, the colorist cleverly allows just a hint of gray at the temples. But, good as the stylist is, the rest of Paul's hair is just too solidly brown, unnatural - sort of like, say, doctored financial statements. Know what I mean?
Let's set aside for now the question of whether the Federal Correctional Institution at Petersburg, VA (or pick any slammer operated by Uncle Sam) permits a bankrupt ex-multi-millionaire visits by his colorist to keep that "youthful" look. After all, who do you need to impress in prison? According to the legal cognoscenti, Manafort is looking effectively at a life sentence given his age. I'm not one to engage in schadenfreude. But if the man did the crime, he's going to have to do the time, colorist visitations or not.
So, Bob Mueller has now doubled the number of charges filed against Manafort and his sidekick, Rick Gates - who reportedly plans to plead guilty this week. The charges center on tax evasion as well as money laundering. Reading the latest indictment offers a clear-eyed look into the stunning shell game these guys "allegedly" engaged in to leverage properties and conceal cash provided by Oleg Deripaska, one of Vladimir Putin's cronies. Some $70 million flowed through this money sewer, $30 million of which was laundered.
Of course, Manafort was briefly Donald Trump's presidential campaign manager. He reportedly did it for free, no doubt out of patriotism. He was forced to step down after his ties to ousted Ukrainian president and Putin puppet Viktor Yanukovich were exposed. But he lingered on as an advisor. Do you see the pattern here? Russia. Russia. Russia. Don't get me wrong. I love their cute Olympic skaters. I hold less admiration for their politicians and crime bosses.
Which gets us to Bob Mueller. He's the guy you never want to tangle with. Want a parking ticket fixed? Have you violated immigration law by hiring, say, a Ukrainian hair colorist without papers? Don't cross swords with Bob. He'll dog you all the way to Timbuktu for spitting on the sidewalk. Look into his guarded eyes and you see the wrath of justice incarnate. He's the real deal - just look at his hair - gloriously gray.
So, Bob relentlessly climbs the ladder of criminality in Trump World, casting indictments out like lightning bolts from a vengeful god. He starts with the small fry - Papadopoulos, Page - and the stupid - Flynn - and works his way up, flipping moneymen Gates and very likely, Manafort. Like a torpedo, he zeroes in on his target.
And this gets us to the biggest hair fetishist of them all. Ivanka has let on that her father has had "scalp reduction surgery" combined with other tonsorial tricks to make himself look like he has a full pate of hair. The result is weird. A sweeping duck tail and comb-over of a color not found in nature. You'd think that Paul M. would've sent his stylist over to Trump Tower to try to Make The Donald's Hair Great Again. But, alas, indictments can get in the way of old friendships.
Chalk it up to some bad hair days, but our president is clearly discombobulated by the Mueller Express headed inexorably his way. His lashing out at the FBI, DOJ and the news media is increasingly taking on the air of mania. (See my articles, A President at War With His Own Governmentand Trump’s Dangerous Witch Hunt Against the FBI.)
Where will it all lead? Not to a hair salon.