The Coming Congressional QAnon Caucus
In Sir Walter Scott's novel, Ivanhoe, there is a scene in which a protagonist, the beautiful and courageous Rebecca, is tried for witchcraft. The kangaroo court hauls in several simple commoners to "testify." One tremulous dolt describes how "he had seen Rebecca perch herself upon the parapet of the turret, and there take the form of a milk-white swan, under which appearance she flitted three times round the castle of Torquilstone; then again settle on the turret, and once more assume the female form." Chin up, Rebecca responds, "To plead that many things which these men have spoken against me are impossible, would avail me but little, since you believe in their possibility."
That was twelfth century England. Dark Ages and all that. Superstition pervaded daily life.
Fast forward to today. A growing horde of credulous American dolts believe DNC staffer Seth Rich was murdered by gang members hired by Democratic leaders, the Rothschild family was behind Princess Diana’s death, German Chancellor Angela Merkel is Adolf Hitler’s grandchild, a cabal of "deep state" Democrats harvest adrenal glands from children's brains and sacrifice them to the satanic ancient god Moloch. BUT, aha! Trump has arrested these evildoers — not physically here on earth, but spiritually, on an interdimensional plane.
Oh, did I mention - this, in 21st century America? Science and facts rule. Like, right?
Sorry to disappoint. But no. Climate change, Russian interference, coronavirus. All "HOAXES!"
The alluring vehicle for the radical right dark agers is QAnon, a nebulous and omniscient alleged ex-fed with the highest security clearance. In a previous post, I described "Q" as "all-knowing, dropping turds of false wisdom on his gullible mob with the aim of stampeding them to vanquish the enemies of their brilliant hero, Donald Trump."
Well, secure your tinfoil hats. It gets better. There soon will be a QAnon Caucus in Congress. According to Media Matters, 51 candidates recently ran for Congress who promoted "Q's" fairy tales. Ten QAnon-friendly Republican candidates have, so far, progressed to runoffs or won their nominations. One of them, Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, is favored to eventually take a seat a House seat. Another QAss-hat handily beat a slavish Trump House incumbent in a Colorado primary. Lauren Boebert told an interviewer, "Everything that I’ve heard of Q, I hope that this is real, because it only means that America is getting stronger and better, and people are returning to conservative values. And that's what I am for." Indeed.
Not to be out-crazed, President Trump invited one of QAnon’s champion manure spreaders to pose with him in the Offal Office, and has retweeted over 130 QAnon tweets.
Now here's where those pesky, inconvenient facts spoil things again. The FBI has classified QAnon as a potential source of domestic terrorism. Motivated by their conspiracy theories, QAnon moonies around the country have been charged with a number of crimes, including attempted kidnapping and murder. Media Matters's president notes that followers "have been stockpiling weapons, ammunition and freeze-dried food to basically fight the battle of their lives against the deep state" should Trump contest November's election outcome. And "Q" has warned of a cataclysmic "Storm," when Trump will launch mass arrests and possibly the mass executions of his enemies. Well, this deep stater is headed for the hills in Montana to ride this out in Ted Kaczynski's cabin, now a niche Airbnb for rational paranoids.
Meantime, just consider some of the fun initiatives of the newly formed QAnon Caucus: Draft bills with titles like, "The Pizza Parlor Pedophile Prevention & Purity Act"; "Elimination of the Deep State in Ten Sweeping Massacres"; "The Child Adrenal Gland Harvesting Prevention Act"; "The Soros, Rotschild and Other Super-Convenient Jewish Enemies Law"; "White Insular Nation Grows No Un-American Thoughts (WINGNUT) Act."
They'll put the Tea Party and Freedom Caucus to shame.
And that "milk-white swan" of Ivanhoe fame will return to poop on the Capitol building.