Tales of a Healthy Paranoid
I flew to Europe earlier this month. All went smoothly with my travel until my return flight. A red flag was raised when United Airlines would not let me pre-check-in online. Despite my repeated attempts, I kept getting a message informing me to report to the airline's check-in counter at Brussels airport, my point of departure. As I processed in with no difficulty, three heavily armed Belgian airport police lingered nearby. Ah, yes. El Al was checking in passengers across the aisle. Yes, that was it. Extra security for the Israeli airline.
But, when I showed up at the gate, I was approached by a security man who asked me to step aside, unbuckle my trousers, remove my shoes and spread my arms and legs. The security man then proceeded to pat me down while another disassembled my travel bag to inspect its contents, piece-by-piece. I was asked to empty my pockets and explain each item therein, from my reading glasses to a couple of aspirin. The fellow took apart my pen for up-close examination, then removed the inner soles of my shoes, bent them and peered inside each. Naturally, the multitude of other passengers eyed me warily as I underwent this careful inspection. I passed and was allowed to re-dress, re-pack and board my flight. But upon my arrival at Washington Dulles Airport, I was pulled aside again to undergo an identical inspection with the addition of a paraffin test of my hands for any evidence of explosive residue. I neither protested nor asked why I was being singled out yet again. I later saw that my check-in bag had also gotten a thorough going-through.
Hey, these are precarious times. We all do our bit to cooperate to ensure safe travel. Certainly, I was randomly identified for enhanced examination. No sweat. I arrived home safe and sound after all. But then a friend who's an expert in aviation security told me I'd been "capped," security jargon for being singled out for some reason, ranging from sharing the same name as a bad guy to being fingered by "bots" that scour the internet for incriminating information attached to individuals. He surmised that my being a thriller writer might have had something to do with it. Hmm.
But then…
Upon arriving home, there was a message from the Department of State. The good folks in the Department’s Office of Program Information and Services wanted to discuss the latest book manuscript I submitted for security review prior to publication, as required under the nondisclosure rules to which I'm bound. The good fellow who is handling my book pointed out four sections that had to be redacted. Much as I tried to negotiate my way out of some of it, he stuck to his guns. Just doing his job. Censorship in the name of national security, protecting the good ol' U.S. of A. from itinerant secrets spilling from the keyboard of one former employee. Loose lips sink ships. I must part with 411 of the juiciest words in my book of essays. Redacted! The Scarlet Letter forever branded onto my book in the form of line-after-line of blacked-out text. Welcome back to the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave!
And today…
My publisher sent me an email:
"Hi Jim, this was funny. Paypal called me and wanted to know if we were doing business with Cuba, and why we are sending money around regarding Havana. LOL. A recorded line, the whole bit. They were relieved to learn you are writing a novel about Havana."
So, some anonymous, yet alert factotum deep inside the bowels of Paypal caught onto a Cuba connection in the monetary transactions between me and my publisher. And Paypal recorded their conversation with him over this matter. If only George Orwell were alive! He could write about it without fear of official censorship. Maybe even travel without undergoing enhanced interrogation. Yes, I'm about to publish Havana Queen, a spy thriller set in Cuba, a place where I'd served as a diplomat and had every reason feel paranoid. But, no, dear Paypal, rest assured I am sending not a single centavo to Fidel.
Someone once said, "Paranoia is the delusion that your enemies are organized." Am I delusional? Or are the events described above somehow all connected?
What're you looking at?!