Gaza: Your Getaway Dream Vacation Destination!

Time is limited. Grab your piece of paradise now at MAGAland - before it's too late!

Don’t miss out! Trump Hotels’ upcoming resort in MAGAland (formerly “Gaza”), a spanking new Free Associated Territory of the United States, will be a one-of-a-kind project, blending the natural wonders of the Mediterranean Sea with the future-forward AI technologies on which this new, exciting destination is being built. We are proud to be part of the ambitious vision that our partners at Affinity Partners and its CEO Jared Kushner have for transforming the future of hospitality in the region and look forward to welcoming guests to discover a new nook of the Middle East.

With the United States soon to take ownership of this sparkling stretch of magnificent aquamarine sea-kissed white-sand paradise, be the first to purchase your vacation getaway while inventory lasts. Select from a range of choices, from your very own multi-tiered beach-side mansion with limitless vista to a modern luxury condominium with all the modern appurtenances. These include bath-warm olympic-sized swimming pools, spas, tiki bars offering your favorite tropical beverages, squash, tennis and pickleball courts and even a water park for the kids. Oh! Let’s not forget two 18-hole golf courses. Finally, whether your tastes lean toward quesadillas, sushi or prime rib, the right restaurant with award-winning chef awaits you and your sweetheart.

If you’re still undecided on a purchase, or your budget is not quite ready to take the plunge, we offer time-shares, or make your reservation now at the Trump Hotel of your choice!

We are gearing up to start development, beginning with clearing the terrorist-made rubble and relocating the current population. Yes! MAGAland will soon be Arab-free!! Those not recruited to be restroom cleaners, custodial staff, trash collectors and trained masseurs/masseuses, will be transferred to a new reservation at Guantanamo Naval Base under the able management of the Interior Department’s Bureau of Indian Affairs; others will be offered new homes in Trumpland (formerly “Greenland”) where they will be taught valuable skills in whaling, sea lion hunting and blubber processing.

Is culture your thing? Take the kids to Holy Land Amusement Park where they can hear life-like sermons from a Jesus hologram, pet animals on a true-size Noah’s Ark and take a thrilling ride through Raptureland. Or take in a play at QAnon Theater — “Trust the Plan,” “The Turner Diaries: A Love Story,” or “Trump and the Resurrection of America” — featuring your favorite White Christian actors and actresses. Learn about space travel at Elon Musk’s Space-X Interactive Park. Lectures will be offered on such subjects as “Girls and the Sanctity of Being a Virgin,” “Abortion: A Plot by Satan,” “The Truth About ‘Mein Kampf’,” or “Making America Great Again Through Retribution.” If finance is your thing, learn from an expert on “Block Chain Management for Christians” or beat the odds at our Trump Casino.

For excitement, take in thrills and chills at the Deep State House of Horrors. Visit Guns R Us Shooting Range where you can fire AR-15’s at a mock school or RPG’s at a re-created federal building. If working out is your thing, take martial arts lessons from real Proud Boys. Or wind up your best World Series-grade pitch to hurl stones at Libtard animatrons and hold your tummy from laughing uncontrollably as you hear their real-life screams and wails.

For more solemn activities, you can pray at the Ashli Babbitt Martyrs’ Monument, take in the diorama at the J6 Heroes Museum or lay wreaths at the currently unoccupied 500-acre United States Military Cemetery.

A Tesla dealership will be pleased to lease you one of their latest model cars.

Ready to take the plunge in warm bubbly waters under an azure sky? We stand ready to take your down payment in $Trump or $Melania or other cryptocurrency of your choice at one of our favored institutions — Sberbank, Gazprombank or Alfabank.

Whether you arrive by air at Don Jr. Airport, cruise ship at Ivanka Dock or by speed train direct from Tel Aviv, we eagerly await you — with a complimentary Mai Tai!

Call: 1-800-TREASON or email: trumphotels@oligarch.com.

Our law firm: Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, Suite 666, Trump Tower, NY.