A Conversation Between Donald Trump and His KGB Handler, Part IV
Busted!
Busted? - stay tuned
SHPIONOV: This Trump Bedminster Golf resort is beautiful!
TRUMP: I love coming here. Get away from all those losers in DC. I bought this place for a song in 2000 from John DeLorean.
SHPIONOV: Sorry. I don't know this man.
TRUMP: You're kidding me! John DeLorean. The great automobile visionary. Inventor of the DeLorean car. A piece of art. Many years ahead of its time.
SHPIONOV: Really? Where is he now?
TRUMP: Oh, he's dead. He was broke when I bought Bedminster from him. I paid only $35 million. He was desperate for cash. He was framed by the Deep State. FBI entrapped him in a cocaine deal, but he got off the hook. As revenge, they eventually got him on fraud, embezzlement, tax evasion and defaulted loans. The governments of Britain, the U.S., and Switzerland went after him. Hollywood stars loaned him money they never got back. He owed Johnny Carson alone $1.5 million. The British government lost millions backing his car venture. He was married four times. John was a great, great man.
SHPIONOV: (shakes head) I'm sorry. But from what you tell me, this man, DeLorean, sounds like he was a conman.
TRUMP: (shakes his head vigorously) Wrong! You don't get it, do you? You Russkies lived under communism too damn long. Couldn't sell a bomb shelter to Bashar Assad. John was a W-I-N-N-E-R. He was unorthodox, misunderstood but ahead of his time. Like myself. Like I said, a true visionary. And as I said in The Art of the Deal, "One of the problems when you become successful is that jealousy and envy inevitably follow. There are people—I categorize them as life’s losers—who get their sense of accomplishment and achievement from trying to stop others." They stopped John DeLaurean. But no way they'll stop me.
SHPIONOV: (contemplates Trump with furrowed brow) I see. Let us move on, shall we? The Center wishes to thank you for returning our diplomatic compounds. It means so much to our families. Our kids love spending their weekends there.
TRUMP: Your spies. They love spending their weekends there too. But I owe you guys one. Like with DeLaurean, it's a good deal for me. I just wish Jared and your guy Gorkov weren't detected doing the cash deal.
SHPIONOV: Nobody will know about the billion dollars from Vnesheconombank to save your son-in-law from bankruptcy. The cover is they were discussing future business opportunities. Please don't say again that they discussed diplomatic affairs. We must keep our story consistent.
We also thank you for insulting the NATO and EU leaders and refusing to commit the United States to defend Europe. Vladimir Vladimirovich followed up by telling Megyn Kelly that NATO should fall apart.
TRUMP: Yeah Megyn. Beautiful woman. But insulted me when I came on to her. It's not like I tried to grab her you-know-what. I was charming. A real gentleman. Broads like that are S-A-D.
SHPIONOV: And, of course, you saw that Vladimir Vladimirovich said nice things about you on your pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement. The Center asks that you further demolish the State Department. What they did in sabotaging your orders after you took office to lift sanctions against us and schedule a summit with our president would be considered treason in our country. Heads would fall.
TRUMP: Yeah. The Deep State again. I've got Bannon and Miller working on it. Tillerson's like a circus dancing bear. Follows my orders without comprehending them. By the time we're finished with State, they'll be in charge of arrangements for the Junior Miss New Jersey pageant. Real losers.
SHPIONOV: (broad smile) As Captain Renault said in Casablanca, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship." (stands up - offers handshake) And thank you for your hospitality. Your Bedminster golf club is indeed magnificent!
TRUMP: Tell Gorkov thanks again for the 35 million to buy it.
See also --
A Conversation Between Donald Trump and His KGB Handler, Part III
and previous